The holiday season can be challenging
We are inundated with images of happy families with lots of relatives, stockings stuffed full, and Xmas gifts under the tree. But that isn’t everyone’s experience. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, or if holidays are a painful reminder of those you’ve lost, you might approach them with dread.
And, if we find ourselves alone during the holidays, it can be easy to sink into despair.
But wallowing won’t do any good! Instead, this year why not turn the holidays from a time for the blues into something to look forward to?
Here are 4 ways to help you let go of holiday loneliness:
1. Release feelings that cause loneliness.
Right before the holidays, my client’s boyfriend dumped her and she didn’t have family or close friends to spend them with. This caused her distress, and in addition to the heartbreak she felt, she felt alone and abandoned.
Working together, our first step to address the loneliness was to release the beliefs that she had been abandoned and she was alone. We had to remove the feelings of despair, and the idea that no one wanted her or could love her. These beliefs were getting in the way of her feeling supported and loved. Releasing them also helped her feel more empowered in relationships.
Just a few days later, a coworker asked her about Thanksgiving plans and she gratefully accepted an invitation to dinner. Following this she came up with plans to see friends at Christmas time. She certainly didn’t spend her time feeling sorry for herself!
As my client experienced, believing you are alone gets in the way of both feeling more supported and creating opportunities to connect with people who will be there for you. You don’t have to live with these feelings. Work with your favorite healer and let those feelings go. Freeing yourself from these negative thought loops allows you to focus on getting the love you want.
2. Remember you aren’t the only one.
Other holiday ‘singletons’ local to you can be found on Meetup, in singles, groups and beyond. If you want to celebrate Thanksgiving, consider asking a friend who might already have plans if you can join in. Or you could join groups of people who throw events for holiday stragglers. Whoever’s company you are in, have meaningful questions to get the conversation going. It’s a great strategy to feel more connected.
3. Use the time to help others.
One way to combat loneliness is to focus on helping others. You can give the gift of your time to serve others at a shelter or invite people for a meal or fun activity – look for families in need and share what you can with them. The holidays are about giving, reminding us that we can make a difference to others. There’s no greater joy than sharing or helping someone who really cherishes your generosity!
Just ask my friend Alex!
4. Remind yourself how connected we are.
In his TV series, science journalist Latif Nasser investigates the surprising and intricate ways in which we are connected to each other, the world and the universe – check out the episode on dirt. You won’t believe how far it travels! And, the movie Fantastic Fungi reminds us that trees are connected via fungi for miles and miles – it’s the original world wide web! The French movie Amelie is about a young lady who grows up isolated, and finds delightful ways to improve other’s lives, which in turn makes her less isolated!
Ask your friends for more movie or book recommendations that make you feel more connected. And if you know of any, please share in the comments below!
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